I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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