dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize