Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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