We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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