As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
