the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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