new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
