She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
