even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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