I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
