Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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