I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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