How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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