Sponge bath it is.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
