Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
