i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize