If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
