i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize