And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
