We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
