Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
