Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
