My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize