she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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