you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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