I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
