everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
