3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if i can run in heels then i can drive
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
