i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
