there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
