He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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