Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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