When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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