Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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