Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
