Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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