maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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