all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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