...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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