Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
