You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
