Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
