so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
