my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
