A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My balls are so social today.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
