Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
