More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
