Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
