I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Fuck appropriateness.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
