omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
bring money and cleavage
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
