i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
