ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
