so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize