I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize