Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
