and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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