so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
