So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I party with great urgency now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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