this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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