im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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