You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
