he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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