I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
