I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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