he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
