You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
