fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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