Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
