Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is my gift to your gina
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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