he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
there is glitter all over my balls
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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