Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
