nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
