i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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