Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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