VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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