Cold hands, warm shart.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
