I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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