Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
