I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
